Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize