Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
