I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
