Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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