Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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