ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
