i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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