I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
