just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
