I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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