i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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