You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize