that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
