you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
This toilet bowl is my home.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
