No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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