Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
