i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
There are leaves in my underwear?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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