So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
