when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
