need another drink. this is the easiest way
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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