You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize