I wanna passion pit in your ass
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Hippo gnu deer
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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