i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
