Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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