loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
