Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm going to jail i love you
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
