Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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