Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
