i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Pants are for mortals
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
