just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
