he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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