thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
