quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
