at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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