He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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