4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize