this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
