some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
