Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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