I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
