I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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