We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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