11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize