so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
