two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
as a side note pls kill me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
