I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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