Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
