Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
