what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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