was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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