Pappa wants mamma naked
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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