I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
