Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
