you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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