i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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