so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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