Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
