He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
