Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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