my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it glows. i had to have it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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