Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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