Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my sisters under your porch take her home
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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