i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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