So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
