Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
