i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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