Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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