so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
