hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Use "feeling words"
Yay
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
