well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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