so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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