i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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