Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize