I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
