So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
