What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
