Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
