Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
